I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
She's the barista slut.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
