her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
