My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Terrible idea I love it
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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