Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
