margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
