They should really pass out barf bags in church
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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