Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Is Oprah even human
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize