i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just high enough for therapy.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
