thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
