Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
