Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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