it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
