Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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