Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
