he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
