im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
