If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
