We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize