My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
