If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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