Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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