and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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