Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
