the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
