This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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