i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
