Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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