Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize