Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
