He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
