a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
do herpes really smell.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I think I just shit out all my problems.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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