Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize