Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
