quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
