just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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