The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
my being single is dangerous.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Your penis caused this!
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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