We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize