they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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