I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
