please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
