The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize