butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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