"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
