i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
