I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
