Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
