My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
