I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
