i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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