Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize