I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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