Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
