went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
