I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
