Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just google imaged poop.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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