i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I believe in your delicious
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
